Tag Archives: humor

Frosting, Raisins, Rabbits and Other Reasons My Kids Totally Lost It

My kids are in an emotionally volatile place. Right now, because it is afternoon, but they don’t really nap anymore. Later this afternoon, because they won’t have had dinner yet. In the late evening because they ARE NOT TIRED. Tomorrow, because it will be a school day. And, just generally, because they are children. I haven’t […]

Guest Post! Master Class to Admiring Any Baby

(regardless of what the baby actually looks like) Let’s be honest, a lot of babies look vaguely creepy. There are many exceptions, but unfortunately most proud parents are (rightfully) oblivious to the fact that their newborn primarily bears resemblance to an alien. Since perfectly attractive people can have very odd-looking babies, you need to be […]

Accidental Decapitation and Other Profound Toddler Insights

It was nearly time to leave. Five more minutes, and I was trying to sneak in a few more dishes, clear a few breakfast plates, and speed blow dry my hair for work. Five minutes. I asked D2 to put on her shoes. I asked her to pick up the toys on the living room […]

Venn diagram, kitchen table, accidental fire.

Marriage is a Venn diagram: your preferences, the other person’s preferences, and the all important area of overlap in the middle that defines the way you can peacefully live your lives. In fact, marriage is an almost infinite series of Venn diagrams. What music can we both tolerate in the car (MUSIC. Who is mature enough for NPR?)? What vegetables […]

Getting Your Kids to Listen: Pro Tips from an Expert

If I got a dollar for every time I said: “Thank you for politely listening right away!” … I’d start saying it all the time. Not because it was true, but because it would be nice to be a salaried parent. And I’d be saying something that–when true–probably makes you feel like a really amazing […]

The Things They Handed Me

Small children value, trust, and appreciate parents. I can tell. Why else would they think we should get to hold their weird treasures and see and touch their disgusting trash without fear that we are judging them? Well, sometimes I am judging them. And kids over the years have handed me some ridiculous things. So, so many apple […]