I am a Superhero

No, not from Halloween (though if there is a way to become a hero by eating fun-size Snickers bars and Kit Kats, that might be a contributing factor). I am for real: my mad parenting skills are not just impressive–they are superhuman. For example: I can shift time. We’re one week into end-of-daylight-savings-time. Or, as many […]

Frosting, Raisins, Rabbits and Other Reasons My Kids Totally Lost It

My kids are in an emotionally volatile place. Right now, because it is afternoon, but they don’t really nap anymore. Later this afternoon, because they won’t have had dinner yet. In the late evening because they ARE NOT TIRED. Tomorrow, because it will be a school day. And, just generally, because they are children. I haven’t […]

Accidental Decapitation and Other Profound Toddler Insights

It was nearly time to leave. Five more minutes, and I was trying to sneak in a few more dishes, clear a few breakfast plates, and speed blow dry my hair for work. Five minutes. I asked D2 to put on her shoes. I asked her to pick up the toys on the living room […]

To my future internet-savvy children

Dear future Ella and D2, The year is, I guess, 20…20? (I don’t know, actually. I think this guess is influenced by my having just gone to the optometrist.) and you are *on the Internet.* Maybe its after school. You idolize me still, and want to read the blog you’ve seen me work on over […]

Getting Your Kids to Listen: Pro Tips from an Expert

If I got a dollar for every time I said: “Thank you for politely listening right away!” … I’d start saying it all the time. Not because it was true, but because it would be nice to be a salaried parent. And I’d be saying something that–when true–probably makes you feel like a really amazing […]

The Things They Handed Me

Small children value, trust, and appreciate parents. I can tell. Why else would they think we should get to hold their weird treasures and see and touch their disgusting trash without fear that we are judging them? Well, sometimes I am judging them. And kids over the years have handed me some ridiculous things. So, so many apple […]