Lessons: Yes, your baby can be naked in PF Changs, though people get judge-y. Two sets of clothes, always two sets of clothes. Never bring the small pack of wipes. Everything is a wipe in a time of crisis.
Dear future Ella and D2, The year is, I guess, 20…20? (I don’t know, actually. I think this guess is influenced by my having just gone to the optometrist.) and you are *on the Internet.* Maybe its after school. You idolize me still, and want to read the blog you’ve seen me work on over […]
If I got a dollar for every time I said: “Thank you for politely listening right away!” … I’d start saying it all the time. Not because it was true, but because it would be nice to be a salaried parent. And I’d be saying something that–when true–probably makes you feel like a really amazing […]
“Eenie, meenie, miny, moe, Catch a tiger by the . . . face! ” “Do you mean, ‘Catch a tiger by the *toe*’?” “Nope.” Go out there, friends, and catch the tiger by the face.
Small children value, trust, and appreciate parents. I can tell. Why else would they think we should get to hold their weird treasures and see and touch their disgusting trash without fear that we are judging them? Well, sometimes I am judging them. And kids over the years have handed me some ridiculous things. So, so many apple […]
Me: Ella, please come in to help set the table for dinner. Ella: I am not [Ella]. I am Queen Chila. Me: Queen Chila? Ella: Yes. I am a ruler of a far-away land. Me: I see. And what brings you to my kitchen? Ella: I am on vacation here. Vacation from all my problems. […]
D2 is getting older. Three, to be exact, which is pretty big and grown-up. And she is ready to do all sorts of things herself that grown-ups used to do for her. She dresses herself (today she is wearing both a dress and a maxi skirt–fashion at its finest), she makes her own lunch (mostly […]
I often find myself on the verge of falling asleep of late. Like, could-drift-off-at-any-time tired. I accidentally fell asleep while trying to perform child bedtime multiple times this week. I think I was asleep before the girls were; I cannot confirm what happened with them because I was asleep. It seems notably bad when I […]
I will not eat refined sugar until Easter. I will not eat *dessert* until Easter. I will not eat dessert unless its has clear nutritional value, like chocolate-covered almonds, which are full of antioxidants and protein. I will not eat unhealthy dessert, except on Sundays. If you completely deprive yourself you are destined to fail, […]
I was standing in the kitchen, diligently cleaning and putting stuff away (read: eating sesame crackers out of the bag while standing in front of the fridge with the door open) when Ella came bursting in. She had been playing across the street at her friend’s house, so was out of breath from running fast […]